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- How To Defy The World
Total Read Time = 3 min.
For the longest time, I was a Yes Man.
I would get along with my peers, lift others up with praise, and make people feel good about themselves—all while avoiding conflict at all costs.
There’s nothing wrong with this, right?
But because I was so afraid of creating conflict with other people, I would say “yes” to everything and anything they threw at me…
To the point where I would lower myself just to please them.
When people would bash my beliefs, I would just remain silent and go along with them. I threw away my values, replacing them with others’ opinions.
When people would gossip about others, I would feed into that shit. As a result, I became a people squasher—the thing I hated the most. How ironic.
And the same people would squash me down.
Even when I knew others were taking advantage of my “nice guy” tendencies, pushing me down with all their personal agendas, I played along with it…
“Yes! You are so right!”
“Uh…sure, I will do that for you.”
“Wait, yeah…actually. I’m an idiot.”
Damn right, I was an idiot.
A fucking idiot. A people-pleasing bitch of a man. A Yes Man.
You may feel the same (no matter your gender or identity.)
And I can’t blame you. Our Western society, at least, has a tendency to crush those who go against the status quo.
You can see this in how…
Entrepreneurs are squashed for creating their own path to wealth by people who can’t think outside the school system.
“Retire earlier? Pfft. Good luck.”
Religious/Spiritual people are discouraged from sharing their faith. “Keep it to yourself.”
People with dreams—big dreams—are mocked for having them.
“What the fuck are you going to do with a creative writing degree? Writing is just an art. You can’t make it as a writer.”
I’m speaking from my own experience here (I’m a college sophomore.)
Unless we stand up for ourselves, our values, and our people, we will forever be under the naysayers’ control—those Thieves of Peace who dare steal our confidence and potential.
So stand proud with me.
Let’s remind ourselves to exercise our NO.
Your NO Is Stronger Than You Think
Your NO is a sword.
It’s your ability to DEFY—to reject anything and everything that doesn’t align with who you are at your core. When others try to break you, you can cut them down with your NO.
Your NO is also a shield.
Saying NO to others may scare you; it’s a form of confrontation.
But your NO will bring you peace, not agitation. It is a way of exercising healthy boundaries to defend yourself from those who dare steal your peace.
Yes, it’s difficult to use your sword and shield.
Your NO will upset some people.
But that’s the point.
You can’t please everyone in this world. I learned that the hard way, trust me. But that’s all the more reason for us to stand up for ourselves—to defy the world and stand proud.
Saying NO requires courage. But through exercising your courage—your NO—you will be rewarded with an authentic sense of strength.
This strength will bring you peace. It will liberate you to live fully and authentically, fearless and proud. Your NO should comfort you.
Yes, the world is strong. The daggers those Thieves of Peace hide are sharp.
But your NO is stronger. Your sword is sharper. Your shield is tougher.
So use it.
And know that saying NO is actually saying yes to what really matters:
Your Self.
Your Values.
Your People.
Fuck everyone else.
“B-But! I can’t just make this person hate me!”
My friend.
I know how you feel…to have a difficult person in your life be such a leech—and even more difficult to remove.
But here’s some tough love from me: You don’t need them.
Read that again.
Realize that you don’t need anybody in your life. No, I’m not suggesting you become a lone wolf or antisocial. Far from it.
But I want you to know that even though it seems like your person is difficult to confront, it is MUCH MORE difficult to get along with them—to live under their bullshit.
Don’t be squashed by them.
The next time that person says or does something that doesn’t slide with you, take a deep breath…look them in the eye…say with full conviction and strength:
“Dude. NO. I don’t want to hear it.”
Or simply leave that person. Your silence is a strong NO. It will break them.
They will be confused. They will be irrational. But that doesn’t matter.
You are exercising your courage—your boundaries—standing proud.
Your mental health, self-image, and character will thank you.
Your Takeaway Message
The world can try to crush you.
But you can stand proud.
Exercise your NO.
Defy the world.
Friends, that’s all for this week’s Letter.
I apologize if my swearing upset you. (I can get fired up at times ;)
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Until then, have a blessed day!
—Chris Son
P.S.
If you’re interested in 1:1 coaching, here’s the link to book a call with me.
(I have nothing to sell you.)